What is "life" supposed to be? Is there an objective to it? Are we supposed to live a certain way? What happens if you mentally can't do it right? Are you afraid of death? Thinking that one day you will never wake up? I'm scared of death... What happens after that? Just nothing or is there something else? And if there is will you remember the "life" you had? I'm 18 year old I'm a confused really lost person who doesn't understand mostly anything anybody tells me unless it in a simple way. I have really no one to talk to other than 3 people my mom kicked me out cause she thinks she's queen bee and she has a habit I called out on her. I have no job I have handed resumes out many times over and over and have gotten nothing back, there is a guy I dated for a year and a half, that broke it off with me for 4 months. During that time I heard some things about him. I don't know what to believe he broke up with me to shut his parents up and came back for who really knows. We fight not like we used to but we do or we sit in complete silence and don't say a word for hours he just draws. I moved out with my brother and sister had a job or 2 months had money everything was doing okay then my boss came into my kitchen told my sister there going for a drive pointed a 22 rifle at my brother sister and I and shot my sisters 1 year old puppy 2 feet away from me and since then I'm scared to go out I'm scared of guns cops scare me Cause of there gun now. I found paintings painted on my landlord walls that were satanic she worshipped the devil . She said someone's always watching and we all felt like we were being watched and when we moved my life fell down more an I'm stuck in a hole I been handling it but I can not no more I am about to go berserk