My whole life, I've never been able to go into detail with anything because my mind would struggle to hold that much info. And what I did know was limited. I've always felt like I am a void to the world. I couldn't hold a social life because my mind would go blank and having nothing to say. Im out of the loop to life, everyone can just buy things without question or just enjoy it, people can just get into music and activities naturally. They have personalities. But for me none of that comes natural. When I buy clothes, I question how it would look to everyone else, I use to get into video games but limited them, like anything else, I have no personality. And I wander how people just function and are able to just talk. My mind is blank all the time, and what thoughts I do have are random or when relevant, I stay quiet because if I bring it up. People will be able to quickly call out how stupid I am, at 17 nothing gives me pleasure, and I question how I use to feel joy or the seldom times I do feel happy are questionable to me. I hate this mind of mine. And dont ask how I typed this because in person I can't go in depth like this at all.